Abortion Affects Men Too
I don’t remember a time when abortion was not a part of the conversation in American life. It was years before the term “abortion” entered my vocabulary, but the pro-choice side tends to tell men (such as myself) to keep our mouths shut. It’s true, I don’t know what a pregnancy is like; however, I do know what it’s like to grapple with the idea of killing your own child. Or at least opening up to the idea, like in my case. This is my story.
The first time I heard about abortion was through my mom. She was blunt, as she literally told me that a mother had the option to keep or to kill her own child (me) before birth. I think I was perhaps 11 or 12, in a guest bedroom at our home. I asked her if it ever came across her mind, to which she adamantly replied “No!” and brought me in for an embrace. I didn't think much of it at the time, nor do I remember how the subject was brought up; but as an adult, that conversation sticks out almost 14 years after her passing. That was the first time I heard about abortion.
I didn't understand the gravity of the choice; I ignorantly didn't think much of it. Frankly, what kid should? But then I got involved with the church for the first time at the age of 14. I didn't have a relationship with Christ; however, I knew about Him from the stories my mom would read to me before bed as a child. At this point, it had been a little over a year since my mother's passing, and my dad had moved us to Florida—just the two of us. The issue of abortion wouldn't be mentioned again until my youth pastor brought it up during youth group. I cannot recall the purpose of the message, other than that he went on a slight tangent before returning to the focus.
At the time, I had accepted Christ as my savior, and I was very studious: for any moral or social issue, I looked up Scripture and then asked my youth pastor about the issue. So, curious as I was, I brought up abortion. He was a good mentor and provided me with a more in-depth look at the issue. Then one day as I was reading Scripture, I found a passage in the Psalms that spoke about how God fearfully and wonderfully made every human being, even before the world knew of their existence. Still, I fell more into the pro-choice camp, in the sense of, "I'm personally pro-life, but it is the woman's choice." However, I would encourage people to choose life, if that makes sense. The legality aspect didn't hit me until I watched a documentary by Ray Comfort about abortion. When he made the comparison between the dehumanization of the Jews and of the unborn, I broke down like a five-year-old kid whose toy was taken away, except this was not out of selfishness. But despite my newfound convictions, in early adulthood I got involved in an unhealthy relationship where we were sexually active, going against my beliefs. Going against the teachings from the Bible. And at one point, we had unprotected sex—after which I selfishly freaked out, which led her to freak out. The dilemma was that she was a staunch pro-choicer. She knew I was against it, however I ignorantly got her "Plan B" as soon as the event happened. Then, on the way home, I cowered into letting her choose to “terminate” the pregnancy if we found out she was pregnant. Thank God it never came to that, but it still haunts me to this day that I was willing to kill my own child for the sake of someone else and myself. (At the same time, I wonder if I killed my child with Plan B.)
Abortion affects men, too. I still remember the conversations with my ex-girlfriend, how even she understood that having an abortion would create another trauma in her life. I remember the guilt I felt. We had conversations where she showed me screenshots of her looking up abortion pills. That was the lowest point in our relationship. I understood it was wrong, but I cowered. That season of life was my lowest point as a man. Imagine the men who did cross that bridge. Imagine the men who did not have a say in the matter, stealing their opportunity for fatherhood—especially those who desired the responsibility. And I have seen in the last few years what the pill does, and the barbaric abortion procedure itself. It is inhumane and cruel for both the mother and child. I am distraught at the fact that I was willing to let my ex-girlfriend and potential child go through this scenario.
Abortion must be outlawed to protect children from people like myself who cower. Protect children from couples who don't know the resources that are available to them. Protect children from people who are scared and could make a life-altering decision solely based on emotion. Protect women from a traumatic experience. Protect women from men like me, who are still learning how to be a man. Protect men’s chance for fatherhood. The law needs to ensure that the unborn can have a chance to take that first breath of fresh air. Because if the unborn don't even have the right to exist, then rights are just an illusion. The Supreme Court might be set to overturn Roe, however there are states that have abortion literally on-demand. The fight has only intensified and, frankly, I hope to see in my lifetime a constitutional right to exist from conception.
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