I write this knowing there are people who have family and friends part of the LGBTQIA+ community, myself included. It is a delicate topic, but an imperative conversation to have within the church. The Bible is clear on its stance regarding homosexuality and genders, but also how we must love our neighbor, including those whom we disagree. This leaves many Christians in a state of purgatory. How do you support someone you love, while at the same time draw your boundaries in practicing obedience to God’s law. How can you make someone understand you come from a place of love if you don’t consider yourself an ally? In this column, I will share my thoughts on Pride Month and how I’ve approached this. It could work for you (maybe not), but you can learn and ponder how to go about this in the future.
Believe it or not, there was a time not too long, ago anybody practicing that lifestyle was frowned upon, worthy of being ostracized. The term “coming out of the closet” was a big deal up until the mid-2010s from my observation. Now anyone who comes forward has the red carpet rolled out. Hence, evolving to Pride Month. “Coming out of the closet” has largely become a distant memory for the people in the LGBTQIA+ community; however if you don’t support this, that is now taboo to admit. Anyone who does not support their ideology, is now deserving to be ostracized. That said, I am coming out of the closet in admitting this- I am not an ally. We have to be honest if we’re to gain an understanding right? I am risking my name to be thrown in the mud by revealing this. “Love is love! It’s the 21st century! You homophobe! Transphobe!” I know there will comments of disdain thrown in my direction, yet I won’t be muted. I will explain my position. All I ask is to put aside any presumptions you may have for anyone standing in contrast to what has become socially acceptable.
Understanding this position
Let me set the record straight on this; I do *not* believe anyone who is an ally, or actively participating in this lifestyle isn’t worthy of love. Regardless of your sexual orientation, you should not be discriminated against when it comes to job qualifications, legal rights of straight married couples, or befriending. I also believe in the government in recognizing their union as legitimate. That said, I do not subscribe for a church of any religion to practice same-sex weddings if their doctrine teaches otherwise. To many Christians around the world, marriage is a sacred institution and term given to us by God. As explained in the book of Genesis: “Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” In lament’s terms, the purpose marriage is to symbolize the unionization of a man and woman before God as one. It is a demonstration of God’s love in its purist form.
The Supreme Court declaring no state could legally define marriage as between a man and woman, was a rejection for any religious institution who practices this belief. I speak for myself, but marriage was a church manner and the laws beforehand protected the church’s right to keep the term and institution. A recognition of it. The laws also provided protection from lawsuits. There have been examples of same-sex couples and allies suing faith-based organizations who refuse to adhere the paradigm shift. That being said, if a church wanted to allow same-sex ceremonies and use the term “marriage” in their documents, I would have been okay with that as a compromise of separation of church and state; unfortunately the ruling gave the church no legal leverage. The term and institution was no longer theirs to treasure.
That is the issue of marriage in regards to spirituality and law. To address the lifestyle itself, in Christianity the Bible doesn’t mince with its adjectives concerning this topic. Nobody said the Bible was a feel good book. C.S Lewis is famously quoted for stating,“I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.” He’s also quoted stating, “In religion, as in war and everything else, comfort is the one thing you cannot get by looking for it. If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth -- only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair.” That is the reality of the Christian religion. It has always stood contrast to whatever culture deemed acceptable. And you may wonder why I choose to believe this? There is real human flesh attached to these words and laws God has for us. Why can’t I let that go and celebrate “love is love?” Someone “finding their true self?”
I understand the controversial position will offend some. You are right when you say there is real human flesh attached. And to a degree, I agree there is some moral ambiguity (refer to the intro); however when it comes to sin and God’s law, that is black and white. I won’t pretend to comprehend the attraction for the same sex, nor the Christian who struggles with this. I get struggling with sin though. Everyone (whether or not you believe in God, sin, etc.) has a stronghold that goes against his law. Mine for many years was lust, a form of adultery. For the Christian believer, we are commanded to FIRST love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, before loving our neighbor-that is secondary. A Christian’s first obligation is to serve Christ, who is God. Relationship priority, God comes first over every fleshly human being. Easier said than done? Of course, however nothing in life is easy. There are some Christian churches that have idolized happiness, thus allowing themselves to become LGBTQIA+ allies. There are some instances of allowing openly homosexual pastors to lead a church. They do this in spirit of the greatest second commandment. The problem is their priority. Whenever we prioritize human flesh over God, we become susceptible to sin. The lines get murky, which plays into the devil’s hand. God is a God of clarity; prioritizing God allows the believer to understand what love really is. This allows us to love healthily with our neighbor. It also makes us turn away from sin. We live in the 21st century, but God doesn’t change. I believe the Bible is his infallible word-therefore I cannot condone the lifestyle.
There is scientific evidence additionally, suggesting the pastures aren’t greener if you fully embrace the homosexual life. A study in 2005 averaged the lifespans of those who are homosexually active to be less than 50 years old. They are also more likely get infected with STD/STDI and AIDS. No, I am not going back the 20th century belief AIDS is the “gay disease,” but studies show a stark reality- there are serious health risks. I concede in admitting not knowing all the variables to these results; but from the given information, how can I consciously support a life that cuts someone’s lifespan in half? I understand medicine has made it possible to live longer if diagnosed with any of the above, but the amount of pills prescribed can kill someone by itself. That’s an issue in our healthcare remember? “Love is love,” but is it healthy? When do we draw the line the pursuit of happiness has become unhealthy?
Lastly, we cannot talk about the LGBTQIA+ without talking about transgenderism. I won’t pretend to understand the struggle with the belief to be born in the wrong body either. It must be a heavy burden, yet we mustn’t delude ourselves. Up until the last several years, it was absolute there were two genders with rare anomalies. There was no debate from the church (to my knowledge) and if it was, it was taboo. Times have changed. We cannot even agree if someone’s biological makeup classifies their gender anymore. Frankly, most of the conversation in regards to LGBTQIA+ has been centered on transgenders. I may not understand the struggle with gender dysphoria, but I can tell you what I understand biblically. Whether you are a believer of God or not, I hope this truth can bring some comfort. You were created with a purpose; you were given those body parts at birth for a reason; and there are no accidents with God. None.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-18
“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7
I pray people read and leave with an understanding. For the believer, a guide to navigate this topic. I come from a place of love when I choose not be an ally- millions of others share this sentiment. It is not an easy stand. Putting faith first can come with a price of losing loved ones. We desire relationships with people who are allies and in the community. As I’ve stated earlier though, being on this side of the line has become a reason for alienation. I acknowledge people on this side have done harm in the past, but we’ll never progress forward with the paradigm of eye for eye. If we want true understanding, space is needed to speak freely without worrying about being mischaracterized. I say this, because people who are on this side of the debate aren’t going anywhere. Many Christians and I will teach our children this isn’t a lifestyle to condone or worth pursuing (when it’s age appropriate); marriage is sacred; the two genders you’re born into is on purpose; and it is possible to believe this without having an ounce of hate. We will put them in education that supports those beliefs too. People can use the government to silence us, but when in history has suppressing speech ever worked? When has the government successfully eradicated Christianity? We don’t have to like each other, but we do have to find a mutual understanding to get along- we all share the same planet until Elon Musk colonizes Mars. Have your Pride Month if that is your conviction, but respect this stance’s right to exist.
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